Photo by Damian Siodłak on Unsplash

Love is a choice. 

That’s the opposite of what I see on popular TV shows, that’s for sure. 

We can choose to love our spouse, our family, our work, and our communities. 

In fact, I would argue that one who chooses to love and thereby does the actions that show love and kindness is the person who loves deeply. 

That love is no longer governed by a feeling of happiness all of the time, it is rooted in something deeper. It’s a commitment that cannot easily be broken.

When our actions are in-part decided by a rational, analytical choice, it can offset the times we don’t feel like showing up — because let’s be real, that happens. 

You didn’t sleep well. Low motivation.

You are hungry. Irritable. 

You haven’t exercised for a week. Low energy. 

When you make a choice, it doesn’t matter if you have low motivation, if you’re irritable, or if you have low energy, you do it anyways. 

And we do it anyway because that’s what people who love, do. We recognize that how we feel will change on the day to day, but it’s our daily actions that we can ultimately control. 

By controlling our daily actions and habits, we can show up and be the person we’d like to be, in the world. 


Of course you are allowed to have off days and sometimes even weeks and months. This happens. There are illnesses and circumstances that are incredibly difficult and that sap all of our energy. 

This piece is not an appeal for people to ignore how they feel, but, to recognize that how we feel is not always an accurate representation of what actions we should take.